LOCAL

In her journey to recovery, a domestic violence survivor found friendship in Naples

Shelby Reynolds
shelby.reynolds@naplesnews.com; 239-263-4829
Office manager Ina Gulin places a "healing crystal necklace" that she bought for Audrey her neck after a routine checkup Monday, April 17, 2017 in Naples. Gulin, who is also a burn survivor, has always felt a close connection with Audrey.

Audrey Mabrey was afraid to look in the mirror.

Partly because she didn’t want to see swelling on her neck, under her chin and across her jawline.

Also because it had been an emotional journey so far to watch her face return to how it once looked — before a fire seven years ago burned her skin and changed her life forever.

After Mabrey's surgery at Physicians Regional-Pine Ridge hospital earlier this month, her surgeon's wife, Ina Gulin, urged her to look in the mirror, anyway.

So she did.

"Even though I’m looking more like I used to look, I’ve gotten so used to the way my face looks," said Mabrey, 34, whose burns are the scars from an attack by her former husband. "It's definitely really emotional."

Life with the scars

On Nov. 17, 2009, Audrey Mabrey was hit over the head with a hammer four times and lit on fire by her husband, who's serving a life prison sentence. She now faces life with the scars.

Mabrey, who lives in Sarasota, has worked hard in the last seven years to overcome the emotional scars; she now helps other survivors as president of the board for Break the Silence, a nonprofit that aims to empower domestic violence survivors.

But it's the physical scars, for Mabrey, that will never go away.

She will never be able to spend an extended amount of time in the sun. Burn victims quickly overheat after losing the ability to sweat.

She will never be able to run a mile every day like she used to, like she did that November day just before Christopher Hanney, a retired New York City detective, doused her in gasoline and threw a lit cucumber melon scented candle.

She spent six months in a coma. It took a year and half to remember the pain. It finally came to her in a dream, and it was excruciating, she said.

"My quality of life, I don’t think, will ever be completely the same," Mabrey said. "I am never going to look like the way God designed me to look ever again."

But she's finding some normalcy again. Surgeons in Naples are working to give her a new face.

Mabrey will receive reconstructive surgery at no cost with Naples plastic surgeon Dr. Stanley Gulin. The two were connected by a Los Angeles-based nonprofit called Face Forward, which provides pro bono surgeries to victims of violent and disfiguring crimes.

She's undergone four small procedures and two large, intensive surgeries in the last five months with Gulin.

Scar tissue on her shoulders used to prevent her from raising her arms above shoulder level. She can now lift her arms up high enough to brush her hair.

Scar tissue caused her earlobes to attach to her neck. She will soon be able to wear earrings again.

The changes are more than just cosmetic, Mabrey says.

"Your face is a very intimate part of your body," she said. "... It absolutely is reconstructing your entire life."

Reconstruction an ongoing process

Plastic surgeon Dr. Stanley Gulin inspects the bridge of Audrey's nose during a routine checkup Wednesday, April 26, 2017 in Naples.

Mabrey lifted her arms as high as she could on a recent Wednesday morning during one of her twice-weekly checkups.

At his private practice in North Naples, Gulin inspected the new skin grafts under her arms.

She winced.

About a month ago, surgeons replaced the scar tissue that had formed under her arms with skin grafts from her legs.

"Burn reconstruction is an ongoing process," Gulin said as he checked on his patient's progress. "It takes multiple procedures. There's so many problems that can occur."

Mabrey suffered burns to her face, upper chest and upper arms. Burn scars cause discoloration and the tightening of the skin, called contractures, which can result in restriction of movement. Earlier this month, Gulin released a large portion of scar tissue on the left side of Mabrey's neck during another operation, substituting it with more skin grafts from the back of her shoulder.

"What happens when you burn your neck, as the tissue heals, your chin and your head is literally pulled down into your chest," Gulin said. "What we’re trying to do is create some degree of normalcy."

It was December when Gulin's office first heard from Face Forward. The organization was looking for a plastic surgeon to volunteer to help Mabrey. So instead of flying to L.A. for procedures, where she had already had two, she now takes Interstate 75 from Sarasota to Naples.

Even though Gulin typically does cosmetic surgeries, he's also trained in reconstructive surgeries.

"It’s a shame not to use (those skills) when it’s needed," he said. "We’re all busy with our own lives and practices, but we might as well use our own training, resources, time to do a little good."

After an extensive operation at Physician's Regional Hospital Audrey returns to Dr. Gulin's office to monitor how the procedure went on her neck, arms, and back Wednesday, May 3, 2017 in Naples.

But it was actually the surgeon's wife, Ina Gulin, his office manager, who picked up the phone when Face Forward called. And she offered to help for an entirely different reason.

A new friend who knows her pain

Ina Gulin was 6, going on 7, when the flames engulfed her body.

Lighter fluid streamed down her leg, and she touched the thing she wasn't supposed to touch — a cigarette lighter.

Her father, who put the fire out using his hands, drove her to the hospital using his wrists. She had third-degree burns to 50 percent of her body. Doctors placed four skin grafts across her legs and abdomen.

Although Ina Gulin's accident was entirely different from Mabrey's assault, Gulin felt a connection.

"I instantly wanted to help her," she said. "It just brought back memories. You just want to hold her."

Ina Gulin leans in to take a closer look at Audrey's lips the day she was released from Physician's Regional Hospital after going through an extensive operation with Dr. Stanley Gulin Wednesday, May 3, 2017 in Naples.

Ina Gulin remembers how cruel people can be. Like the girls in gym class who would recoil at the sight of her skin as they changed in the locker room.

And she can cover her scars. Mabrey cannot.

"I understood that I have very shocking scars, and there’s a lot of people that have been through horrendous cases of abuse that don’t render the physical scars that I have, and because I had them, I knew that the world would listen," Mabrey said.

So she decided to share her story.

Mabrey has become a national advocate for domestic violence victims. Through Break the Silence, she connects with survivors to help them navigate their journeys — things she wished she knew about seven years ago.

She has appeared on "Dr. Phil," "I Survived," "The Doctors" and a number of other national media outlets.

"I wanted people to know that despite what happens to you in life, you can’t give up, and I’m not the first underdog and I’m not going to be the last, but hopefully I can inspire the next underdog to tell themselves 'I may now be the underdog, but I can be on top again.'

"He robbed me physically, but he will never be able to take away from me emotionally, mentally and spiritually," she said. "That’s mine. He can’t have it."

Choosing to be grateful

The process of getting a new face is a lot of work.

There's the itching and scratching of healing skin grafts; the stitches freckled across her face; the bruises, the swelling; the stretching to regain range of motion.

It has to get worse before it gets better, Mabrey said.

It could be anywhere from six months to a year before Gulin has finished operating on Mabrey's upper body.

"Although this is a tremendous blessing to go through these surgeries and have the opportunity to look more and more like I did before, which is so cool, at the same time it’s a very emotional experience. It takes courage to continue on with that journey of going through that reconstruction. It’s a lot," Mabrey said.

Emotionally, the reconstruction will add confidence, she said.

"I already thought I was the hotty pototy, but it’s going to give me more confidence, and you’re going to see that in the pep of my step, you’re going to see that confidence in my work, in my mothering, in my friendships — you’re going to see it."

Mabrey is writing a book about her journey and domestic violence survivors' "right to choose." Mabrey has chosen to be grateful.

"In a way you lose your faith in humanity, and so when you have people like Face Forward, people like Ina and Dr. Gulin that say, 'You know what, we want to step up, we want to help, we want to give back, and not only that but we want to love you on top of that' — it helps to restore your faith in humanity. And that’s priceless, really."

Mabrey jokingly calls Ina Gulin her mother, like when Ina tells her to sit up straight. Even after all the surgeries are over and Mabrey no longer returns to Naples twice a week to meet with the plastic surgeon, they will stay in touch.

"She’s never going to leave," Ina Gulin said. "She’s got me now. ... She’s in my heart."

On that same Wednesday, Mabrey was headed to her next appointment in Southwest Florida — a checkup with Bonita Springs oral surgeon John Contino to repair more damage from the attack. Contino and Raymond Spinelli, a dentist in Naples, are also providing pro bono services.

Mabrey wore a blue floral dress that fell to her ankles and a healing crystal necklace around her neck. Ina Gulin bought those for her.

"I love you," Ina Gulin said, hugging Mabrey as she left the office, careful to not squeeze too tight.

I love you, too."

How to help

Friends have arranged a GoFundMe page to collect donations for Audrey Mabrey's travel, food and other needs. Visit gofundme.com/ypmd2-audrey-mabrey-recovery-fund to donate.